Bill Clinton: Hillary's Man of the World

With the UAE and DP World debacle behind him, Bill Clinton finds his services still in demand on the world market...

A phone rings high up in a Tower in Harlem.

Guardian Council Aide: I am calling on behalf of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution.

Secretary: What can I do for you, sir?

Guardian Council Aide: The Supreme Leader wishes to speak with President Clinton.

Secretary: May I inquire to the nature of your call?

Guardian Council Aide: The Supreme Leader's business is not for your ears. It is enough that the Supreme Leader wishes to speak with President Clinton. Put him on the line.

Secretary: Please hold the line.

A couple of minutes pass as the principles get on line.

Bill Clinton: Ayatollah Khamanie, what an honor and a pleasure. What can I do for you?

Supreme Leader: Please address me as Supreme Leader, and I will kept this short. Our diplomatic efforts vis-a-vis almost everyone to save our Enrichment Program are failing.

Bill Clinton: Well, y'all know how to walk the walk, but y'all don't know how to talk the talk. That's an old saying in Arkansas, Supreme Leader. Also, my Secretary did not ttake a liking to the brusque manner of your aide.

Supreme Leader: Yes, that is exactly why I've called upon you. First, you are everybody's favorite American at the UN. Second we could use some advise on how best to keep our program, Mr. President. As for your underling, do not bother me with such trivalities again.

Bill Clinton: Don't know Supreme Leader. Working with you can be detrimental to many projects my wife and I have in motion at the moment.

Supreme Leader: We watched the Dubai Ports Deal, Mr. President. The same can apply where you go one way and Senator Clinton the other, although her support in our efforts to find a peaceful resolution to this Security Council blasphemy would be most welcome.

Bill Clinton: Direct help is out of the question, Supreme Leader, but I could make a speech in Tehran about bridging the gap, and speak with a few of your folks on the sly, if you know what I mean.

Supreme Leader: Mr. President we know help of this nature does not come cheaply and we pay top dollar for advice from someone of your stature.

Bill Clinton: Supreme Leader, I'm going throw a number in the air for this making a speech in Tehran. $10,000,000.00 in a numbered account in Zurich.

Supreme Leader: Mr. President, that will be fine as our needs are great. You do have us over something of a barrel.
Bill Clinton: Supreme Leader, your the man with many barrels of oil that is. Let's let our aides work out the details. One thing. No romance with finance. That means money in the bank before I leave.

Supreme Leader: Good, good, Mr. President. I look forward to your ground breaking trip to Tehran and meeting you in person. Good bye,

Bill Clinton: We'll do what we can to shape up your situation. Good bye.

The Supreme Leader (looking over to his aide): I can't stand talking to an unHoly Son of the Great Satan, but we got him cheap. I was prepared to go $20,000,000.00 Treat him with respect and admiration someone of his station requires, but remember he is only a hired hand and tool to further the Islamic Revolution.

Aide: Yes, Sir, Supreme Leader!